Miss Manners: My fiance wants a diamond ring, even if the stone comes from Russia

There are many types of engagement rings. But the type she wants is what's important. Stock photo. Getty Images/CSA Images RF

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am very much against Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, and I don’t want to support it by buying a diamond engagement ring, since the stone is likely to come from Russia.

I told my fiancee I would like to buy her a ruby, emerald or sapphire ring -- her choice -- but she says the only ring appropriate for an engagement is a diamond. What is your advice?

GENTLE READER: This is not the jewelry department, so Miss Manners cannot advise you on how to find a diamond with a clear provenance (or a lab-created one). But that is what you must do.

The reason is not because there is any etiquette rule about diamond rings. Frankly, we don’t even care if there is a ring, much less what type. Etiquette considers that all an engagement requires is an agreement between two people to be married. It is not we who invented that bended-knee routine.

But your fiancee craves this. And your marriage will go better if you acknowledge that while a spouse’s moral convictions should be respected, so should a spouse’s emotional longings.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: If one is dining alone at a restaurant and must burp, what should one do afterwards? It seems coarse to say nothing, but it seems odd to try to engage nearby diners.

By saying “excuse me,” would one be asking the salt shaker for a pardon?

GENTLE READER: Even if dining alone, one should say “excuse me.” Especially if the people at the next table jumped.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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